living water

"Men are in a restless pursuit after satisfaction in earthly things. They will exhaust themselves in the deceitful delights of sin, and, finding them all to be vanity and emptiness, they will become very perplexed and disappointed. But they will continue their fruitless search. Though wearied, they still stagger forward under the influence of spiritual madness, and though there is no result to be reached except that of everlasting disappointment, yet they press forward. They have no forethought for their eternal state; the present hour absorbs them. They turn to another and another of earth's broken cisterns, hoping to find water where not a drop was ever discovered yet."
- Charles Spurgeon

too late?

1 Too late, twill be for you to cry, When mercys day has passed you by! When solemn night, of dark despair, Shall come upon you halting there!
2 Too late, when death has barred the door, Your wailings can be heard no more! Rejected, there, thy soul will be Shut out, through all eternity!
3 Will you not heed the voice today, Inviting you Christ to obey? And be prepared to enter there, A pure and spotless robe to wear? 4 No longer, there in sin abide! This all important step decide!
Come out, where Christ can touch thy soul, And at this moment be made whole!

Chorus Too late, too late, poor trembling soul! O will this be your fate? Too late, too late to be made whole! Too late, too late, too late!

Providence

Man...it really just hit me...where am i going to live next year? I didnt re-apply to east res or have not looked for a place off campus cause i fully thought i was going to be on coop work term. But now things are more complicated. Ok, i want to take courses in the fall cause the course seleciton is so much greater...and good profs seem to teach in the fall...hah. But if i want to do that...that means i should be looking for a place to live....but the thing is im not certain if they will let me do that or if i should do that yet. Then theres the thought of transfering...deadline is may 1st. I dont want to sign any leases if I'm not gonna be here. Man..honestly my future is up in the air for the first time in my life. The thing is I cant pull the trigger to do anything yet cause everything is so uncertain. Will the course advisors allow me to change around my academic calender? Will I find a coop job? Should I even apply to laurier? Man...so many variables to deal with...its honestly crazy....So this is it...probably the greatest test of my life so far....how much will I trust in God's providence over me? How much do I trust Him as my rock and refuge? How much do I trust Him to take care of me and provide for me? The way I live now will answer that...

"born to be wild"

Kinda cool. I watched an old 722 episode and the title of the ep was "Born to be Wild". At first I didnt understand what Louie Giglio was trying to get at. In fact after I watched it I thought..."hmm...that was cool". But during my reflection time one line stuck out "The taming of society...the taming of the wild heart that God has birthed in us". Society says we have to attend university...we have to graduate....obtain a good paying job...meet and marry someone...raise the proper family...and do all things that people do to enjoy life....and that is what life looks like. How far have we fallen off the true desires and potential God has for our lives! And in all this I realized that a lot of my "fear and insecurity" has sprouted from the fact that I'm loosing sight of the world's "ideal life style". I'm so focused on my story...so focused on obtaining my goals or rather society's goals for me. One of my friends is working at a bank this summer....and I guess he has always been my template of what I want to accomplish. Hardcore dragonboater...popular and well liked...doing well at the laurier's business program...and succeeding in the corporate world. But I realize thats my story...not God's story. Louie then goes on to talk about the calling of Peter. Jesus calls him and he leaves everything...his job...family...friends everything to follow Jesus. This passage has always been referred to to illustrate obedience and surrender..but it kinda stuck out this time. Peter was leaving the "society's ideal life style" and following Jesus. The path he would take w/ Jesus was the epitome of an "unsure future"...But its part of that unsureness...part of that "walking w/ the spirit spontaneity" that God desires for our lifes. Born to be wild...wild at heart...born to go out and experience all the wonders and excitement God intends for our lifes.....by joining HIS Life Story....getting our life story in His. When will I realize that I am a fool not to surrender my life to Him.

Now does this mean I wont ever get a "corporate" job or be jobless through all my coop terms? I dont think so. If i get a job great...if not I know that God supersedes any situation...any circumstance in life...and nothing can hinder Him from finishing His life's story.

ps. things are still tough for me...but are getting better...wanna thank all those that have been praying for me from the bottom of my heart

life interrupted

I guess i realized how tightly I have held onto my life. Surrender to me has just been a "christianse" term and nothing more. I guess now God is keeping me accountable for all that I've said. I honestly have a feeling that i wont get a job this coming workterm. I guess I want it too badly...I have dreams I want to fulfil in life...that are mine...and not God's. I have fallen into the pit of complacency and comfort. Thats all I long for in life right now. To be comfortable and have fun. Over the summer I truly wished to get a good paying job...a 9-5 office job. Live at home...and commit a lot of my time to dragonboat, golf and friends....hahah. I look at all my peers around me getting jobs and I long for that comfort of a secure "future". I want to obtain finances over the summer to be able to pay for my tuition apart from my parents...take the burden away from them. But now...things seem different. I honestly feel like I wont get a job...I dunno why....I think God's trying to teach me something. *sigh* As much as I want the lifes of the ppl around me....I realize that I'm not them...For the first time in my life my future is totally uncertain. Not only am I uncertain on where or what I'll be doing in the summer but also in the fall too. I was suppose to go on an 8 month work term...till winter semester. Now I dunno if i should come back in the fall to do schooling to catch up on some courses cause I want to switch programs (another uncertainty) or apply for a job then. Then theres the issue of living...most ppl are finding or have found places to live in for next yr. I didnt look cause I was fully expecting to be on coop in the fall. Lastly theres the uncertainty of income. Ah well...this is the way life is suppose to be i guess eh? God never promised a lighted pathway....only a lamp at my feet....so that I know where my next step is...thats it. I think this is a big life interruption for me. A big shake up....shaking me out of the dreams that I had for my life. But i guess this life was never mine anyway. I guess this is an opportunity to life out my faith now...in TRUE surrender.